Aqua Teen Bleach Force
by MoonIce
Summary: This will be the most disturbing humor story for Bleach that I hav ever made. Bleach and ATHF crossover all the way. Bleach charactersATHF storylines.
1. Halloween special

Aqua Teen Bleach Force 

Rating: M

Genre: Humor

Series: Bleach

Summary: This is a crossover of sorts between Bleach and ATHF. It's has Aqua Teen's story line with Bleach characters. These will basically be short stories where the characters change roles but the plot in general stays the same. I'm quoting things directly off the two series so don't be surprised.

All right let me introduce story one.

Halloween special

A/N: Yes this is the ATHF episode that hade the spider looking guy in it. Okay before you read I'll give you a little guide. (Kenpachi: Fry lock, Yachiru: Meat wad, Ikkaku: Shake Byakuya: Carl and The Willy Nelson monster: as himself)

It was Halloween weekend in the seretei. Of course no one had kiddy decorations or candy but there were a whole lot of tricks. Soi-Fon was having fun torturing her squad with the new whip Yoruichi bought her. Nanao was hiding in a closet from her perverted captain. Ukitake had just ran for the hills due to his officers pestering him. Mayuri, well lets just say he made the Freddy have nightmares. Toshiro was showing his subordinates no mercy with his shotgun by blasting the hell out of them with lots of led. And that leaves us with the main characters of our story that reside in squad eleven.

I want candy! Yachiru shouted. You can't have any candy! Ikkaku barked back. You can't tell me what to do baldy. Oh yes the fuck I can. I'm you superior you shiny-headed jerk and I order you to give me some candy. JUST GIVE THE GIRL SOME FUCKING CANDY! Kenpachi yelled while barging in. Captain when did you get in here? Ikkaku asked. Just now asshoe! Kenpachi yelled back. And like I said before just go to that son of a bitch Kuchki's and gets some candy. Now although Ikkaku was stronger than most of his peers he still didn't want to go near him. YAY BYAKUSHI! An Eagered Yachiru shouted. Why do I have to go Captain? Ikkaku asked. Because I said so now get going motherfucker.

Meanwhile in the walk way of the seretei Yachiru was skipping along wit Ikkaku trying not to be seen with her. I hate you brat. Ikkaku hissed. Your just mad because you aren't as pretty as Byakushi. Yachiru said back. All the sudden the near right wall exploded leaving a hole in it. What the fuck just happened? Ikkaku asked. I don't know? Go check baldy. Yachiru order. Just as Ikkaku got up a spiderlike creature with an onion shaped body came out of the smoke an d asked, " Um I just died and I need a new home will one of you help me find one. What? You kidding me. I know it's Halloween but this is just cheesy. Ikkaku said. Hey look it's a potato chip on legs! Yachiru shouted while being restrained by Ikkaku from eating it. What would your name be so-called monster.

My name is Willy Nelson although not the Willy Nelson. I got killed by some jerk name Frylock and was sent here by a shinigami. Well nice meeting you but we have to go and get this pink-haired runt some candy. Ikkaku said. Well that's okaybut will one of you help me find a place to stay. Willy asked. Can't you see I'm busy and what kinda faggot monster says please? Ikkaku stataed. Your supposed to scare the shit out of people and have them chase you around in an angry mob. Well I don't know how to scare people. Willy replied. Then to bad for you fag. Ikkaku said back. Stop talking to the giant onion looking potato chip and go to Byakushi now baldy. Yachiru ordered while begining to bite Ikkaku's head. GET OFF OF ME YOU RUNT! Ikkaku shouted. Um... I could take her off your head if you teach me how to scare people. Willy offered. DEAL JUST GET HER THE FUCK OFF MY HEAD! Ikaku yelled.

After that incident the three were finally at Kuchki's house. Alright Nelson dude I'm gonna give you a promo of what it means to truly sacre someone. Okay but what does this place have to do with it? Willy asked. Open the door and give me candy baldy. Alright you brat! Ikkaku shouted back. What did you just call me Mr.Clean. I'll call Kenny to beat you up right now. Yachiru replied back. Nothing lieutenant. Ikkaku said in fear of getting beat up by Zeraki again. Just before he went to go knock the squad 6 captain appeared right in front of the doorway. Hey Kuchki! We just came to...Leave and don't ever talk to me in that tone again! Ikkaku was cut off by an already angry Byakuyak Kuchki. Why are you so mad we just came to give you something. Ikkaku replied. Would that be the cheap onion monster following you? Um my name is Willy Nelson sir although not the Willy Nelson, I'm not getting delivered. The monster replied. Whatever. Anyway like I said before,"GO AWAY!" Kuchki said now beginning to lose his cool. Aw.. come on Byakushi can you just give us some candy at least. Yachiru pleaded.

Um Ikkaku what does this have to do with scaring? Willy asked. You'll see my weird ass aquantance. Ikkaku replied. What was that? Byakuya asked. Um nothing now we should give you this although it might even scare a man of your stature. Ikkaku warned. Okay what is this frightening package? Byakuya asked. Ikkaku then picked up Yachiru and and shouted," THIS IS!" The pink-haired girl then was thrown at Captain Kuchki and landed right on his face. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! GET THIS GIRL OFF OF MY FACE! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! The nobleman began to scream as the young girl began kissing his face and slobbering over his head in a similar way to what she does to Ikkaku. Kuchki then fell on his back into the house as Yachiru continued to unwanted advances to him. Ikkaku then closed the door and looked at the onion monster. Although that is the way to scare people you'll never have the right to do that. Ikkaku stated. But this is where you first lesson in scaring begins. And what would that lesson be.

The lesson is, " RUN FOR YOU FUCKING LIFE BEFORE CAPTAIN KUCHKI GETS UP AND KILLS YOU!" As soon as Ikkaku shouted this the duo began to flee to the squad eleven biulding. Back at squad elven Ikkaku hade just got finished rudely introducing Willy to Kenpachi. What the fuck?! Your telling me that this little piece of shit can't scare people. Kenpachi replied. Yes captain, he's the gayest monster in history. Ikkaku added. I'm not gay I'm scary! Willy interupted. I just need help with scaring people. And that's why you're gay! Kenpachi pointed out. Ikkaku take this little bitch out of my sight I've gotta join Kyoraku and egg Yamamoto's mansion. As Ikkaku went over to forcefully take the monster out he quickly pleeded, "Wait! If I can keep Yachiru away from this Ikkaku guy"... "That's Madarame to you onion man." Ikkaku interupted. "Yeah that! If I could do that would you let me stay?"

Well the pink haired runt is annoying. If you could really do that I guess we could find a closet or domething but just do your part and keep her away. Ikkaku said. Normally I would comment on that, but since I really want to egg that old bastard's house I'll let I slide. Yay! Willy shouted. Oh! Ikkaku that onion thing had better not say that again when I get back. Kenpachi said. As soon as the squad 11 captain sped off Ikkaku had turned to Willy. "Hey you! If you wanna stay in squad 11 then you have to learn how to stop being a fag." Well how do I do that? Willy asked. The bald 3rd seat let out a heavy sigh and then said,"Well lets being your training."

"Okay lets review. What do you say to someone when you knock on their door?" Ikkaku said while standing right by Kuchki's mansion. "Ummm What are you doing here." Willy replied. His answer although earned him a smack in the head from Ikkaku. Nonono! That's not what you say, stay to the script. He ordered. Willy then picked up the the paper and read,Nice head, I think I'll take it." And there it is. Ikkaku replied. But wait a minute were not trying to kill him are we? Willy asked. Sacrng is killing. Now use thin chain saw that I got from the human world and kill Kuchki. I'll be back at the squad building when you return. And don't forget to say your blood monster manic,you title." Ikkaku said while using shunpo to leave. Willy then turned on the chain saw and walked over to the door. Wow! This is all to familiar.

Willy said as he began to think of Master Shake giving him two hedgetrimmers. As Willy knocked on the door an calm Byakuya and happy Yachiru appeared. What do you want and why are you carrying a chain saw? Kuchki coldly asked. As Willy tried desperately to say Ikkaku's lines all that came out of his mouth was once again, "Umm...What are you doing here?" What am I doing here? I live here you asshoe! What are you doing here? Byakuya angrily asked. Yeah! What are you doing here? Yachiru asked whlie wearing a party mask and stuffing confetii candy into her mouth. Well since I'm here can you help me find a place to stay? Willy asked. Leave. Byakuya coldly ordered. But what about that place...Leave! Byakuya ordered again while pulling a shotgun out of his sleeve and loading it. Okay okay I'll leave. Willy said as he bagan to go back to the squad eleven building and dropping the chainsaw.

Back at the building Ikkaku had went to ask. Well did you sacre the guy. Umm...no he actually threatened to kill me. Willy confesed. What! you were supposed to scare him not be threatened by him! Ikkaku yelled. Suddenly a knock on the door was heard. Great now I have to look and see who this is. As Ikkaku got up he saw at the door Byakuya Kuchki. Surprise! He yelled before throwing Yachiru at his head. The pink haired girl then flew onto the baldman's head. AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! AAAAAHHHHH! AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! GET HER OFF ME! Byakuya then let the scen leaving the three to themselves.

A/N:Okay I finished. I thought revising the whole episode for bleach would be to much work so I stoped here. I start working on chapter two as soon as I can. Just a sneak peak of the next chapter, It feature's Captain Aizen and our favorite rapist handbanana.Please review and wait.


	2. Shinigami Gutters

* * *

Aqua Teen Bleach Force

By: Moonice

Series: Bleach

Genre:Humor/Adventure

Characters: Fuctuation crossover

Rating: M

**Chapter 2: Grim Reaper gutters**

_A/N: Yes this is the Bleach version of Grim reaper gutters. I'm writing this chapter differently from the others. Look at the character's parts for help and enjoy muahahaha!_

**Master Shake:Rangiku Matsumoto**

**Meatwad: Renji Abari**

**Frylock: Toshiro Hitsugaya**

**Carl: Kisuke Urahada?**

**Dan(from grim reaper gutters): as himself**

The story begins with a bored Matsumoto and Renji sitting in Orihime's apartment while she's in the soul society. Okay that's the intro now please read the rest. It's funny!

Rangiku:...

Renji:...

Rangiku: (Pulls out a crossbow with a poisoned arrow and aims it at Renji's head.)

Renji:...

Rangiku:(still pointing the crossbow) I'm gonna do it.

Renji:(too bored to take her seriously) Um what?

Rangiku: I said I'm gonna shoot this arrow at you with this crossbow.

Renji: Oh! Wait! What! Your not shooting me with that damnmit! I don't know what you've been smoking or drinking chick but who the hel said I was going to just sit here an let you shoot me?!

Rangiku: No one said anything. I'm just gonna shoot ya!

Rangiku: Nah! I'm just kidding!

Renji: What the fuck?

Rangiku: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! You actually thought I was going to shoot your ass.

Renji: HAHAHAHA! Yeah I did!

Rangiku: I actually was going to shoot ya! But then I decided not to because then I would be bored out of my fucking mind.

Renji: Ahehehehehe! That was a killer.

Rangiku: Kinda reminds you of the first day as a lieutenant.

Renji: Yeah! I remember the days. Back then I was so obsessed with killing my captain it wasn't funny.

Rangiku: Hehe! I remember hugging my adorable little captain to death. Although I didn't mean to sufforcate him, it was just that he was so cute!

Renji: Hey! Remember that time where we had to pay back Captain Kurosutchki for destorying his lab.

**Flashback**

* * *

Mayuri: My lab! My precious lab!

Renji: Umm... We're sorry!

Mayuri: Sorry?!

Rangiku: Yeah sorry! It's a way of apologizing, duh!

Mayuri: I know what it means woman! It's just a surprise that this is all you people could come up with.

Rukia: It's not that bad!

Mayuri: What do you mean it's not that bad? My lab just got destroyed in a fire which mean that gigai productivity will come to a standstill. Plus I won't be able to have any experiments done for quiet some time.

Rukia: Wow! You have anger issues.

Rangiku: Yeah! You need to chill out and get a life.

Izuru: Haha (burp!) a captains getting told off by two chick.

Mayuri: I'm gonna chop you up bastard!

Izuru: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Rangiku: There they go.

Renji: And go and go!

** Flashback end**

* * *

Rangiku: Yeah those were good times good times.

Renji: Sometimes I miss those days.

Rangiku: Yeah I really do! Espescially when my captain makes me do paper work in the office and he knows I'm not doing it!

Renji: Well you gota put up with what life throws at ya!

Rangiku: Ain't that the truth. I didn't think I would put up with Gin breaking up with me but I did. "TAKE THAT YOU BLUNT EVIL ASS MOTHERFUCKER! KISS AIZEN'S ASS WHILE YOUR AT IT!

Renji: Calm down! It supposed to be happy memories not my life just got screwed memories.

Rangiku: I guess your right Renji. Yeah I'm definatelly reassured now.

Renji: What does that have to do with anything.

Rangiku: It deals with the fact that I'm more popular with fanboys than you, the so called only lieutenant to master bankai.

Renji: What! The only reason your popular is because of those unrealistic boobs of yours!

Rangiku: So what if I got an attractive body. I'm still more popular than you.

Renji: Shut up girl! You don't even know what your saying .

Rangiku: Of course I do. And besides how many times have I saved you from humiliation from Byakuya?

Renji: Once! If you remember corectly dizzy blond!

Rangiku: Who are you calling dizzy blond? I remember that and the fact that you got fried by Rukia.

Renji: Yeah! Well I remember you getting drunk and giving Yumichka a blowjob.

Rangiku: WHAT DID YOU SAY! YOU BETTER TAKE THAT BACK BEFORE...

Toshiro: Before what? You remember the fact that both you and Renji are both dumbasses that need to be savced from punishment by a captain in almost all of your drinking parties.

Rangiku: What are you talking about captain, and when did you come in here?

Toshiro: Just now! And that right there juts proves the point that your both dumbasses who surprisingly made it to lieutenant level.

Rangiku: We worked hard to become lieutenant!

Toshiro: You didn't!

Renji: And since when do Rangiku and I or any other of our buddies need help from captains to get out of bad situations anyway. We've got mad skill!

Toshiro: You think that don't you.

** Flashback("Party All the Time" begins to play in backround)**

* * *

1:Toshiro uses Hyourimaru to save drunken Izuru and Momo from ten Gillian.

2.Toshiro and Ukitake save a doped Hisagi and Maki from falling into a pit of Mayuri's nitrogen.

3.Toshiro freezes a robotic clown Rangiku broke and made evil.

4. Toshrio and Shunsui save drinking group from Yamamoto's zanpakuto

5. Toshiro saves Renji from the mooninites that showed up when the bount were in the human world.

6. Byakuya and Komamura detroy a crashing meteor that resulted from Rangiku.Renji, Ikkaku, Izuru and Momo knocking it off orbit.

7. Toshiro drags a drunk Iba out of his office while Rangiku kicked him shouting, "You perverted son of a bitch!"

8. Ichigo lurse handbanana away from Renji while in the Soul Society.

9. Toshiro traps pseudo arrancar in ice saving Rangiku.

10. Demonic forest is detroyed by Toshiro while dragging both Momo and Matsu...

**Flashback Cut short by pausing of DVD player and music ends**.

* * *

Renji: Wow! You even got the video with rock music.

Rangiku: That videos was a rip off, none of that stuff happened.

Toshiro: Then how else do you think I was able to record this other than taping you in your stupidest momoents.

Rangiku: You simply formated it with that weird computer thing you keep and you probably edited it so that you were where I should be.

Toshiro: That impossible! You can barely beat Gillian with your lazy self.

Rangiku: Well we'll just see about that captain. I'm gonna call Kisuke over and make sure you aren't lying.

Toshrio: Do you evn know what his phone number is?

Rangiku: Well no but I'm sure his store is in these human yellow pages.

Renji: Is that all necessary?

(beepbeepbeepbeepbeep)

Kisuke: My god that ring is so annoying.

Kisuke:(picks up phone on counter) Hello this is the Urahada store how may I help you?

Rangiku: Mr Hat and Clogs this is Rangiku Matsumoto we need you to come over.

Kisuke: For what?

Rangiku: You know, to just have some fun from work that's all.

Kisuke: I'm not coming over.

Rangiku: We have beer.

Kisuke: Still not coming over.

Rangiku: If I get drunk I might show off my boobs.

Kisuke: Long dial tone.

The excited shopkeeper had just put on his sandals and rushed over to Inoue's apartment where he would soon be expressed to bare boobs.(or so he thought) At the actually apartment things sort of got twisted.

Renji: So is he coming over?

Rangiku: Yep!

Renji: Does he know why he's coming?

Rangiku: He doesn't need to know.

All three shinigami began to look outside at the cloaked skeletal shinigami standing outside with gutter sales plan in his hand. As Kisuke aproached the house he saw this and began to conversate with him.

Kisuke: Excuse me but I'm in a date with beer and boobs so please step aside.

Dan: I'm dan from "**Shinigami Gutters"** and I won't leave until I make a sale.

Kisuke: Well that great and all but I really need to get inside.

Dan: How about our instant debree removal gutter plane for a three year trial.

Kisuke: I'm sorry but I can't talk to you right now.

Dan: Well we could give you the water proof gutters installed for your house that also removes snow and ice from the house.

Kisuke: I don't even know if that's possible but I don't want to buy gutters, I just want to get inside.

Dan; Our installments only take up to threen hours anf fifteen minutes.

Kisuke: Look I don't know what your problem is but I just said I don't want any gutter.

Dan: Are you sure.

Kisuke: Yes I'm sure.

Dan: Alright.

(Dan pulls out a bony finger from his hand and touches Urahada with it; making him drop dead on the lawn)

Toshiro: How come he won't leave?

Rangiku: Didn't you hear him outside? It's their policy and they won't leave until he makes a sale.

Toshiro: You just had to call "**Shinigami Gutters".**

Rangiku: I thought it would be the name of Kisuke's shop since it had the name shinigami in it.

Dan: Is anyone in there?

All: Aw damn!

Dan: I'm Dan from "**Shinigami Gutters"**, I won't leave until I make a sale.

Toshiro:(gets up from his chair and walks over to the door)

Rangiku: Where you going captan.

Toshrio: I guess I'm gonna buy some um damn gutters.

End

A/N: I tried a new style of writing for this specific chapter. Once again I have cut the ending short even thought I know how much you all wanted to see Renji commit suicide. I crossed over a lot of characters for this fic and I hope it was to your liking. I promise you thought that next chapter I will pair Aizen with handbanana.

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